I'm A Prostitute !

To me, those sex workers are angels. 

I can not remember when was the first time i recognize prostitution as a bad thing, as a sin or immoral. Maybe it was there since my family and the society draws it in my blood. It was there since I went to school and they teach my brain as a robot to recognize what is bad and what is good. It was there since I heard the story of Adam and Eve, Heaven and Hell. It was there since I can not use my logic and heart properly to see and understand about life.

When I was a child, I collected words surrounding me to what I understand as stereotype of prostitute  ; Those who polish their nails in red, wearing high heels, spread her bold smile and winked her eyes. Those women will end up naked in a bed belong to somebody’s mother or wife.

But I do remember when was the first time I recognize that most of us are prostitute. That I’am a prostitute too!

My landlord lady told me that we are all prostitute. We are all sell our expertise for money. Body, skills, knowledge and religion are the commodities we substitute for money. I love her ideas. She went to church every week, she pray everyday and she told me that all these ritual are part of prostitution due to her needs for prolonged peace and heaven. She underlined that peace and heaven cost money too.

Since then I suddenly realize that I’m a prostitute too. So what makes me better than a sex worker?

Based on Merriam-webster dictionary, the definition of prostitution ( pros·ti·tu·tion / noun ) is the act or practice of engaging in promiscuous sexual relations especially for money

To underline that sex and money is the keyword of the definition. But what makes it even worst than any kind of work or expertise substitute to money? Not in my definition.

For years I always think that people doin so much work for money. We are lookin for money. We are all need the money for livin. But not everyone have the same luck and opportunity to make money in the way the like to choose. In the other way, I must say that not everyone have the gutt to choose any kind of work with risk, especially in the name of immorality and stay opposite to common society.

We might think that workin as sex worker is work under pressure and violence, kind of work that facing the things we might not like or hate. Imagine a fat man who smells like shit put his penis into our vagina. What would you feel abt it? That image might be stays in our mind and kinda makes us a bit traumatic or even makes us hate our body everytime we think that he touch us in the way we don’t like.

But this kind of trauma, dissappointement or hatred might happen in many kind of works. As an author we might write what the readers like instead to tell the truth. As an activist we might work for funding organization instead of the people we love. As a wife we might put our husband pleasure instead of our own pleasure. As an employee we might do what we hate to make the boss happy so we don’t loose our job. As a citizen we might follow the rules while we know that the government cheat on our rights. Name it. You’ll find things you don’t like, things that disappointed you, things you hate, and still you have to do it anyway.

I also want to underline that most of us are prostitute due to our religion. Most people pray like a robot. They don’t really know what they pray for. All they do for their own goals to get a couch in heaven. They choose to be in a wonderful garden with angels instead burning them selves in the hell. Why we hate fire while most of us like summer instead of winter?

To me, those sex workers are angels. I feel ashamed to think about my self who pursue the pleasure for my own. I don’t remember how many penis cuddling with my body and vagina that leads me to orgasm and gimme so much pleasure, I might say that I’m an orgasmic lady. But everytime I sat down with those sex workers, all those orgasm and pleasure did’nt make me proud of myself. I pursue pleasure for my own but they taking risk and eliminate their pleasure to feed their families. I don’t have the gutt by taking those risks to protect and feed my family.

…to be continued…